Tuesday, July 3, 2007

p.s. big news

I can't believe I forgot to write about this in my earlier post. It's big news.

I had my last therapy appointment last night! I was discharged for being suitably sane enough to make my way in the world!

Actually, this came about because my therapist is moving to Portland. When she told me a couple months ago, we both decided that I'm ready to be discharged. So, we talked about lots of stuff, and about strategies for coping in various situations that may/will come up in the future. She's fantastic. The best therapist I've ever seen.

I started seeing her last year after my dad died and I was really depressed and struggling with anger at my mom, huge regrets, hating myself, issues with food, and all sorts of other ugliness. But, since November I've made some pretty remarkable progress, if I do say so myself, and much of it is due to my therapist being so freaking awesome.

I hate that seeking professional help for emotional problems still has so much negative stigma associated with it, and that people are scared, for a host of different reasons, to seek out help. So, if you've thought about entering therapy but are scared or unsure of what to expect, I'd be happy to talk with you about my experience with it. I'm not saying it's easy. It isn't. It's hard work, and there were many times that I did not want to go to my appointments, but I was always glad I did.

I was telling her last night about the analogy that I like to think about when I'm trying to do the right thing and grow as a person and it hurts. It's like when you're a kid and get growing pains. The pain is breathtaking at times, and it sucks in the moment, but ultimately it's a wonderful thing that you're growing and changing, and it makes the pain worthwhile. I think it works the same way mentally. Growth hurts. But, it's good.

I think it's time to dust off my personal mantra: opting for personal growth. Because it is a choice. It's a choice that each of us makes every day, multiple times a day. We often choose to stick with what's comfortable--whether it be right or wrong or whether it hurts us in the long run--because the unknown is scary. But, if I preface every choice I make--even the small ones--by asking myself, honestly, if I'm opting for personal growth, it makes the path a bit clearer.

Thank you, Lynn, for being an incredible listener, guide, mentor and friend!

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