work is no place for a diva on a monday

Okay, I'm no diva (since I gave up after a couple attempts), but it is almost diva-time, if you know what I'm saying, and I think that you do. And, this guy (i.e. me) is starting to get crompy. Also, I'm trying to decrease my cigarette intake (only one so far today), and that is also one of the ingredients in the recipe for crompiness. I found this guy on the internets, and it sounds like he can pretty much hypnotize you to do anything, or to NOT do anything, as the case may be. I'm waiting to hear back from his office about rates and such. Maybe it'll be covered by insurance, he'll have an opening for tomorrow, and he will cure all that ails me, and all my dreams will magically come true!

I'm--I mean, my uterus--is craving frozen yogurt. And, some searches on the internets and calls to various spots, I've found that the Mrs. Fields shop in the Ross Park Mall has a TCBY fro-yo machine. Which is unadvertised, and comprises approximately 10% of their business (I spoke to someone chatty). It's not exactly what I want, because I want some plain, super-tangy fro-yo, but this may be the best I'm going to get until I get a new ice cream machine or Pinkberry comes to the 'Burgh. I'm choosing to blame Luke Ravenstahl that Pinkberry isn't here. You may say it's not his fault, but I say, can you prove it beyond a reasonable doubt?

I served with divas: I knew divas; divas were friends of mine. Ehrrin, you're no diva.

Okay. So, I tried with the Diva Cup. Twice. Sorta half-heartedly. Day 1 and EK is not the happiest girl, and even less so whilst trying to jam a little cup into her virginia. You feel me? So, strike 1, Diva Cup, strike 1. On the upside, my friends were spared the potential task of fishing 'er outta there for one more day.


In other news, I am a celebrity. For real. Believe it. Let me know where to send your 8x10 autographed glossies.

No, really! I got asked to be a "celebrity guest judge" for Cattivo's Halloween Witches and Warlocks Masquerade Party on the 27th! (beware, there is scary music on that last link). So, come out that night! Judging is at midnight, but I'll be there a littler earlier so's I can check out everyone in their fabulous get-ups!

I just finally signed up for a blog counter thingy. And, it's so much more than that! It tells me not only how many people have visited the ol' blog, but from what countries, and all kinds of other fascinating stats (don't worry; it doesn't identify you). It's so interesting! You may know that I love a spreadsheet. This is like the bestest spreadsheet ever--especially 'cause it's about me. I wish I'd done this when I first started this blog! For you peeps with blogs/sites, check out Google Analytics for the instructions for how to generate your own reports.

Okay, okay. To the eatin'.

I'm attending a potluck on Saturday evening, and it has a "harvest" theme. So, I'm going to make a brussels sprouts dish. I'm thinking of this one from Food & Wine magazine:

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Cranberry Brown Butter

* Vegetarian

ACTIVE TIME: 40 MIN
TOTAL TIME: 1 HR
SERVES: 12
"This is where I like to use Thanksgiving cranberries," says Dean Fearing, who mixes them into the maple-butter sauce topping his brussels sprouts. He roasts the sprouts to bring out their nutty sweetness. "This dish turns a non-brussels sprouts lover over to the other side," he says.
ingredients

* 4 pounds brussels sprouts, halved lengthwise
* 6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
* Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
* 1/2 pound fresh or thawed frozen cranberries
* 3 tablespoons pure maple syrup
* 1 tablespoon finely grated fresh ginger
* 1 1/2 teaspoons finely grated orange zest
* 2 sticks (1/2 pound) unsalted butter
* 1 large shallot, minced
* 1 teaspoon chopped thyme

directions

1. Preheat the oven to 400°. On 2 large rimmed baking sheets, toss the brussels sprouts with the oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast for about 40 minutes, stirring halfway through, until the sprouts are tender and browned in spots.
2. Meanwhile, in a small saucepan, combine the cranberries, maple syrup, ginger and orange zest. Cook over moderately low heat, stirring, until the cranberries break down and thicken, about 10 minutes.
3. In a medium skillet, cook the butter over moderately high heat until deep golden, about 4 minutes. Remove from the heat, add the shallot and thyme and stir into the cranberry sauce. Transfer the butter to a bowl, add the brussels sprouts and toss. Season with salt and serve.

MAKE AHEAD The cranberry brown butter can be refrigerated for up to 3 days. Gently reheat the butter before tossing with the brussels sprouts.

Just need to remember to pick up some oranges and thyme. Actually...hmmm...I'm concerned that the butter will coagulate while sitting on a serving table. Hmmm... Okay, I might have to wait on that particular brussels sprouts recipe, and just do them up roasted, as is my usual custom and like I did them last week. Or, maybe I could also add some roasted garlic and toasted pinenuts? Or, some toasted sesame seed oil, toasted sesame seeds and lemon zest? Hmmm...so many varieties to choose from!

Oh brussels sprouts, how I love thee! I love their adorable tender tiny cabbage bodies! If I were going to make a doll out of a small fruit/vegetable (a la Nowlze), it would be a baby brussels sprout. And, while googling away, I found that you could also make a home for your brussels sprout with duct tape (and also use any leftover tape to get rid of your warts!


In other news, the Pittsburgh International Lesbian and Gay Film Festival starts today! E-dawg and I are going to hit up the VIP Opening Reception, but she's not going to stay for the film, and I may not either. [Dan mentioned getting together with some friends for a possible bonfire, but I'm also tuh-ired! My uterus demands regular naps (and lots of Java Fried Rice, but don't say that out loud or I won't get any rest until she gets some!)]. And, I'm going to the late film tomorrow night, One Night Stand. It's supposed to be a dirty, dykey, tranny, genderbendery delight! That is up this guy's alley. It's made by Good Dyke Porn (can't link to that right now, if you know what I'm sayin'), so that's a harbinger of good. And, afterwards there's a Girls' Night Out party at Cattivo. I like it.

Uh-oh. UPDATE: a co-worker just walked by and asked if I wanted to have lunch at Spice Island Tea House (home of Java Fried Rice). I think my uterus emailed him when I wasn't paying attention or something. Either way, hells yeah.

my stomach dances to the sound of piccolos

I did indeed check out Piccolo Forno last night, thanks to E-dawg's recommendation. But, I didn't end up trying the dish she had with sage butter (spinach ravioli), but rest assured I plan to go back another time to check it out!

We started with the Crostini di Polenta which were baked polenta squares each with their own topping--a gorgonzola sauce, roasted cherry tomatoes, and the menu says the third is mushrooms, but I'd nearly stake a pinky finger that it was actually an olive tapenade. The presentation was rustically beautiful with slivers of artichoke hearts and kalamata olives liberally and artfully sprinkled on the plate. And, it was a large plate, not that we wasted any!

For dinner I had mushroom crepes in the "canneloni style". They were good, but I felt like they were missing something. They were really heavy and rich with a boatload of white cream sauce. I'm thinking maybe less sauce, and some kind of acidic inclusion? But, still really good.

Then dessert was limoncello gelato. Whoa. For real. This was gorgeous and delicious! I love lemon desserts, and this one is maybe in the top three. So amazingly good. Creamy gelato with candied lemon (in limoncello!) within and scattered about. So fantastic. My mouth just literally watered thinking about it.

Oh, E-dawg. You steered me right again. You are the wind beneath my wings.

In other news, I always wonder if, when I have a specific food craving, it's related to specific nutrients my body needs. I used to get spinach cravings all the time. I don't so much anymore, but I do still love spinach. Now I want a spinach salad right now...

Anyway, I stumbled across this interesting article, "The Science of Scrumptious", while perusing one of the food blogs ( in the roll (see the blogroll to the right). The blog is really interesting too. A Lucid Spoonful here. Check it out. I just joined this Foodie Blogroll a few days ago (created by The Leftover Queen, and I haven't been added to the list yet, but will be soon. I'm trying to check out each one in the list. There are tons!

And, now an unrelated update as of three minutes ago:
My Diva Cup will be making her maiden(head) journey this evening. Wish us both luck! (if it gets, um, stuck one of you earth-lovin' hippies all high on reusable menstrual cups is totally in charge of fishing it out. i'm looking at you, Ani and Kramer. fyi).

plug it up. plug it up.

You may remember the "Plug It Up" chant from the movie Carrie. A couple years ago I was complaining about starting my period the moment I pulled into NYC, and my friend B-dub immediately starting chanting that. Hi-larious. So, now I often think of him when I am contemplating plugging options.

And, I have been (contemplating) since I made that post about (the evils of) O.B., and so many of you commented with your own thoughts on O.B. or other plugs. So, I went with the Diva Cup, and have received it via mail-order, along with a pin for my jacket that has a flower and the word "diva". I'm not so sure about the pin, but I have a good feeling about the cup. Will report back whenever that time comes.

That's all I got today, folks. Have a super Tuesday!