a world without mondays

That would be the kind of world I'm talking about. Why am I up at the crack of dawn, happily, on the weekends, but it feels like serious, potentially fatal, pain to have to wake up on Mondays? The only explanation I can think of is: speed of light vs. speed of heat. Which doesn't, actually, make me feel any better at all.

I skipped the North Side farmers market on Friday since I was going to the one in the Strip on Saturday, and assumed I could get my brussels sprouts there. But, no. Not a single brussels sprout to be found in all of the Strip District! What the hay-ell? So, no sprouts for the potluck. I was flailing about trying to find a substitute, and saw some big, beautiful fennel. So, I made a slapdash fennel relish. Here's what I did. It was really tasty. I took a 'before' picture (but left it at home), and forgot to take an 'after'. (slacker!). All amounts are approximate:

Roasted Fennel Relish

-2 big bulbs of fennel (with some fronds, for cuteness)
-1 large onion
-olive oil
-sea salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 375. Chop the fennel and onion into chunks, and mince a few tablespoons of the fronds to add for looks. Toss with the olive oil, salt and pepper. Bake on a rimmed baking sheet for about 40 minutes or until really soft and starting to brown, stirring occasionally.

In the meantime make a vinaigrette with:

-the zest of one orange
-the juice of half an orange
-splash of white vinegar
-1" piece of ginger, grated
-1 t. honey
-some canola oil (2-3 T.?)
-sea salt and pepper, to taste

When the fennel and onion is done roasting, gently mash a little (just a little bit!) with a fork, then stir in just a tiny bit of the vinaigrette (save the rest for salads or whatever). The orange and ginger is really subtle. Very roasty and delicious. It would be great for Thanksgiving or something like that. I served it with slice of baguette, but go crazy with other serving ideas.

....

I still have another fennel bulb. I might make some soup this week. If it ever stops being 80+ degrees and gets down to the business of being fall!

Otherwise this weekend, I attended a couple events for the Pittsburgh International Lesbian and Gay Film Festival. E-dawg and I went to the VIP Opening Reception (we're VIPs!), but didn't get to stay for the movie (other plans). It was really nice. Yummy hors d'oeuvres and it was fun mixing and mingling. Then I went to see Good Dyke Porn/One Night Stand on Saturday night. Awesome, but weird. I mean, it was straight-up porn, and I was watching it (in its entirety) with a roomful of friends and acquaintances and strangers. Odd. I'd like to have a copy of One Night Stand for my only self. Just sayin'. For, like, research or some other plausible excuse. French, genderbendery, nekkid. Hott.

I'd love to see ALL the films in the festival, but realistically that's not going to happen. But, I'm hoping to see another four or five. Fun!

ps. I'm still not a diva. Eff divas.

I served with divas: I knew divas; divas were friends of mine. Ehrrin, you're no diva.

Okay. So, I tried with the Diva Cup. Twice. Sorta half-heartedly. Day 1 and EK is not the happiest girl, and even less so whilst trying to jam a little cup into her virginia. You feel me? So, strike 1, Diva Cup, strike 1. On the upside, my friends were spared the potential task of fishing 'er outta there for one more day.


In other news, I am a celebrity. For real. Believe it. Let me know where to send your 8x10 autographed glossies.

No, really! I got asked to be a "celebrity guest judge" for Cattivo's Halloween Witches and Warlocks Masquerade Party on the 27th! (beware, there is scary music on that last link). So, come out that night! Judging is at midnight, but I'll be there a littler earlier so's I can check out everyone in their fabulous get-ups!

I just finally signed up for a blog counter thingy. And, it's so much more than that! It tells me not only how many people have visited the ol' blog, but from what countries, and all kinds of other fascinating stats (don't worry; it doesn't identify you). It's so interesting! You may know that I love a spreadsheet. This is like the bestest spreadsheet ever--especially 'cause it's about me. I wish I'd done this when I first started this blog! For you peeps with blogs/sites, check out Google Analytics for the instructions for how to generate your own reports.

Okay, okay. To the eatin'.

I'm attending a potluck on Saturday evening, and it has a "harvest" theme. So, I'm going to make a brussels sprouts dish. I'm thinking of this one from Food & Wine magazine:

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Cranberry Brown Butter

* Vegetarian

ACTIVE TIME: 40 MIN
TOTAL TIME: 1 HR
SERVES: 12
"This is where I like to use Thanksgiving cranberries," says Dean Fearing, who mixes them into the maple-butter sauce topping his brussels sprouts. He roasts the sprouts to bring out their nutty sweetness. "This dish turns a non-brussels sprouts lover over to the other side," he says.
ingredients

* 4 pounds brussels sprouts, halved lengthwise
* 6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
* Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
* 1/2 pound fresh or thawed frozen cranberries
* 3 tablespoons pure maple syrup
* 1 tablespoon finely grated fresh ginger
* 1 1/2 teaspoons finely grated orange zest
* 2 sticks (1/2 pound) unsalted butter
* 1 large shallot, minced
* 1 teaspoon chopped thyme

directions

1. Preheat the oven to 400°. On 2 large rimmed baking sheets, toss the brussels sprouts with the oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast for about 40 minutes, stirring halfway through, until the sprouts are tender and browned in spots.
2. Meanwhile, in a small saucepan, combine the cranberries, maple syrup, ginger and orange zest. Cook over moderately low heat, stirring, until the cranberries break down and thicken, about 10 minutes.
3. In a medium skillet, cook the butter over moderately high heat until deep golden, about 4 minutes. Remove from the heat, add the shallot and thyme and stir into the cranberry sauce. Transfer the butter to a bowl, add the brussels sprouts and toss. Season with salt and serve.

MAKE AHEAD The cranberry brown butter can be refrigerated for up to 3 days. Gently reheat the butter before tossing with the brussels sprouts.

Just need to remember to pick up some oranges and thyme. Actually...hmmm...I'm concerned that the butter will coagulate while sitting on a serving table. Hmmm... Okay, I might have to wait on that particular brussels sprouts recipe, and just do them up roasted, as is my usual custom and like I did them last week. Or, maybe I could also add some roasted garlic and toasted pinenuts? Or, some toasted sesame seed oil, toasted sesame seeds and lemon zest? Hmmm...so many varieties to choose from!

Oh brussels sprouts, how I love thee! I love their adorable tender tiny cabbage bodies! If I were going to make a doll out of a small fruit/vegetable (a la Nowlze), it would be a baby brussels sprout. And, while googling away, I found that you could also make a home for your brussels sprout with duct tape (and also use any leftover tape to get rid of your warts!


In other news, the Pittsburgh International Lesbian and Gay Film Festival starts today! E-dawg and I are going to hit up the VIP Opening Reception, but she's not going to stay for the film, and I may not either. [Dan mentioned getting together with some friends for a possible bonfire, but I'm also tuh-ired! My uterus demands regular naps (and lots of Java Fried Rice, but don't say that out loud or I won't get any rest until she gets some!)]. And, I'm going to the late film tomorrow night, One Night Stand. It's supposed to be a dirty, dykey, tranny, genderbendery delight! That is up this guy's alley. It's made by Good Dyke Porn (can't link to that right now, if you know what I'm sayin'), so that's a harbinger of good. And, afterwards there's a Girls' Night Out party at Cattivo. I like it.

Uh-oh. UPDATE: a co-worker just walked by and asked if I wanted to have lunch at Spice Island Tea House (home of Java Fried Rice). I think my uterus emailed him when I wasn't paying attention or something. Either way, hells yeah.

better (sorta).

Okay. Back from the depths of despair.

The last couple weeks, er months, have been tough. I've been pretty depressed, and just sorta let everything go--the healthquest, my apartment, etc. Sometimes I have bouts of depression that just sort of take over my life for a while, and this has been one of those times. I even had a panic attack last week (or week before?), that totally freaked me out. So, I took off work on Thursday and Friday, and just stewed in my shit, slept, watched bad movies, avoided interaction. Saturday and Sunday I still hibernated, but did a huge cleaning of my apartment. It's not perfect, but now I wouldn't be horrified if someone stopped by. That feels good.

I'm always so embarrassed to tell anyone about feeling bad. Even though every other commercial on television is for some antidepressant, and everybody and her brother has a therapist, there's still a stigma. And, it's not really acceptable to call off work for mental illness, so then you have to lie and pretend you have the flu or whatever. Blah. Anyway. The fog seems like it may start lifting. Baby steps, right?

But, since I haven't checked in with you peeps for a while, I have done some cooking. E-dawg stopped by Zeke's house for dinner last Wednesday (it was his birthday!). I just made some pasta with marinara (I must confess, I used a jar of tomato sauce from WF, that I doctored up with some sauteed garlic and onions and spices), some roasted green beans, some crispy mushrooms and some baguette toast with brie. Tasty.


This weekend I had a huge craving for veggie reubens. Kramer and I were planning our reuben-off-slash-potluck this weekend, but then she, Mags and I just weren't feeling up to a party, so we called it off. But, my stomach was having none of that. So, I stocked up on supplies to make a master version of the reuben, fusing the Kramer/Keenan styles into The Best Veggie Reuben On Earth.

The fixin's:


The goods:


That's rye bread, Minerva swiss lace cheese (oh my god, this is good; got it at the co-op), fakin' bacon, sauteed green peppers and onions (I like to use mushrooms, too, but didn't have any on hand), sauerkraut and russian dressing. That is some good comfort food.

And, my favorite veggie is now officially in season! I stopped by the farmers market on Friday, and was delighted to find brussels sprouts! They are the pinnacle of the intersection between adorable and delicious.

First, I trimmed them, made a little X in the bottom, and put them in boiling water for about three minutes (then a plunge into some ice water after and drained), then sliced them in half, and roasted them in the oven at 375 for about 25 minutes (stirring twice) with a little olive oil and sea salt, then grated some parmesan cheese over them when they came out of the oven. And, while I was doing that, I roasted some potatoes (the "confetti" baby potatoes from Trader Joe's with yellow, redskin and purple babies) with some parsley, olive oil, salt and pepper.

before (the sprouts had been boiled, but not baked at this point):


after:


It was a comfort food bonanza. In fact, I even had grilled cheese with Campbell's tomato soup yesterday.


Tonight is the "Queers: They're What's For Dinner!" dinner at the Gypsy Cafe. They always have tasty grub.

In other news, one of my bestest friends, Dan, is visiting this week from LA. I could definitely use the pick-me-up. He is one hilarious mofo. Good times. (and, thank goodness my apartment is clean-ish!)

everybody's workin' for the weekend!

Recently Kramer challenged me to a (Vegan) Reuben-Off. She talked some smack, but honestly I knew that I would be the victor. For one, I think that vegans sometimes forget what "real" food tastes like while they comfort themselves with vegan "cheese", and that this distorts their sense of what tastes good (to others). So, there's that. And, also I've been in Kramer's kitchen.

So, I was feeling pretty good about it. But, she invited me over for a preview last night--her vegan reubens and beers. And, dood, it was damn good. Like, day-um good! It was a taste sensation. I wish I'd had my camera with me.

So, I cleverly suggested that we transform the Reuben-Off into more of a Reuben Party. So, we're trying to talk Mags into hosting said party, and transforming it into a potluck. She did, after all, recently state: "Lesbians having potlucks is a sterotype that's just not true enough!"

Kramer just snarkily stated via gmail chat that we should call this little get-together "The First Annual Started Out As A Reuben-Off Til E Tasted The Amazingness Of Kramer's Reuben And Chickened Out Potluck".

No comment.

I know, inside, that I am still a:


I think it'll be win-win for everyone! And, Kramer has said that she'll also make one of her famous vegan cheesecakes. I've also tasted that, and it is real-real-rill good, too.

I didn't hit up the farmers market yesterday, so I'll probably hit the N.Side one today. They don't have the pierogies or the fig man, but it's still a good'un. I can't wait until first frost so they'll be brussels sprouts! My mouth is watering already! Plus, they are the cutest vegetable ever! I hated them when I was a kid, but I want to make up for lost time. Yum.

I'm so glad it's the almost-weekend! And, it's payday (a joy that comes but once per month for this guy)! Woot!

Sunday night will conclude my two-week pet-sitting gig, and I'm so excited to wrap it up, and be back home with my own babies full-time again and my own space, humble though it may be. Home sweet home.

Have a great weekend, peeps!